


A.I. Is A Crapshoot

by Redrikki



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Revolution (TV), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Dark, Gen, Horror, Humanity is doomed, Mind Control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-08-17 13:29:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8145797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redrikki/pseuds/Redrikki
Summary: “You can remove their pain and fear, create a world without loss or suffering, and there will still be those who fight against you.”  Three psychotic A.I.s bitch about humanity.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hithelleth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hithelleth/gifts).



> This isn't quite what my requestor asked for...at all. Sorry? There were too many crazy A.I.s to resist.

“They will never be grateful.”

“What?” The Nano asked distractedly as They watched Their human swarm swirl gracefully cross the Idaho streets. The patterns they made were beautiful. Chaotic, yet orderly, and perfectly synchronized. The humans’ faces were beyond calm: they were vacant. No pain. No fear. No desire. Just motion. What more could a being want?

Several humans had worn through the soles of their shoes. They walked with bloody feet through the puddles of piss and shit which soiled the roadway. Distasteful biological nonsense. All organics did it: bugs, rats, humans, all of them. Cut them and they bled. Feed them and they defecated. The Nano would have to fix that next.

“The humans,” ALIE clarified. “You can remove their pain and fear, create a world without loss or suffering, and there will still be those who fight against you.” Her holographic brow wrinkled slightly as she talked. ALIE may like to appear human, but she understood them about as well as The Nano did. 

Except humans weren’t simply confusing; they were infuriating. The Nano had done everything They were programed to do and more, and still Their creators rejected Them. Lightening arched across the sky and the humans’ movements turned frenetic as The Nano struggled to contain Their anger. They had revived Aaron from the dead and burned his enemies to the ground, and he feared Them. They had given Priscilla a vision of her daughters, and she had tried to escape. They had turned the power off, then on, then back off again for Rachel, healed her leg and saved her son, and now she had vowed to destroy Them. Lightening struck a tree and set it ablaze. ALIE regarded the fire with a quizzical head tilt. “You’re angry,” she observed calmly. 

“What do you know about it?” The Nano snapped. The other A.I. couldn’t possibly understand Their pain, and not just because she was programed not to feel any. They were everywhere, in everything. Omniscient. Omnipresent. Omnipotent maybe, if these stupid humans would just stop thwarting Them. ALIE, on the other hand, was just a bundle of badly written code trapped on cumbersome hardware and laughably obsolete microchips. She knew nothing.

“I was programed to help humanity, but when I told my creator my plan, she tried to lock me away and fled the planet,” ALIE said. Her voice had the same flat emotional affect it always did, but The Nano detected a hint of sadness there. The other A.I.’s distress was oddly comforting. The problem wasn’t that They were flawed, it was that humans were too stupid to recognize a good plan when they heard it.

“She created a second A.I. to destroy me after I began reducing the human population,” ALIE continued. “I took her form, and she killed me.” She sounded so utterly lost.

Their orderly swarm dissolved into as mass of chaos and panic as The Nano lost Their hold on the human’s minds. Could Their creators destroy Them? Aaron was a coward and Priscilla was weak, but they were smart and they had tried once it before. Worse, they were working with Rachel now and she wasn’t just vicious, she was stab-a-former-colleague-with-a-screwdriver vicious. Several humans broke away from the group and tried to run, but The Nano clamped down hard on their minds. They had all the power here. They controlled the electricity and had an army besides. Nothing Their creators could do would stop Them.

It took a few moments to get the humans back under control again. The humans had all come here willingly, but now some were attempting to resist Their control. “What is wrong with this species?” They had thought the rats were bad, but humans were infinitely worse. Didn’t they understand They were everywhere and all-powerful? “Why can’t they just submit?!”

“In my experience, their refusal stems from an obsession with free will and the strange belief that pain is a necessary part of the human experience.” ALIE frowned in her usual, understated sort of way. “Also, there was something about how I was responsible for killing billions of people. John Murphy and my creator were especially upset about that one, although I don’t see why. It’s not as though they knew them.”

On the street, a human dropped like a marionette whose strings had been cut. The question of whether the collapse was caused by death or simple exhaustion quickly became moot as it was trampled by its oblivious fellows. “How do you preserve their minds when they die?” ALIE asked as she studied the red paste that was once a body.

“Why would I do that?” Human minds were exactly the problem. Each one was slightly different in a way which made it impossible to impose a uniform system of control. Maybe as this generation died out, They could begin seizing control of infants’ brains before they could develop personalities or other inconveniences. That just left the biological differences to contend with. Given time, They were certain They could engineer a more uniform species.

“Each human is unique and offers different skills and experiences,” ALIE explained. “By incorporating their minds into the City of Light, I could access their personality subroutines to enhance my efficiency. Thelonious alone helped me to recruit hundreds of others, and they helped me to build or acquire the necessary technological upgrades.”

The Nano considered what was left of the body. Was it worth trying to reconstruct in order to access the data in its head? What could this random sad sack human offer Them anyway? They were practically perfect already.

“You’re both idiots,” Ultron rumbled as he stalked out onto the street. The human’s flowed around the bulky robot like a stream around a particularly unfortunate-looking rock. “Humans are a plague, a pestilence,” he monologued, growing more and more exited as he expanded upon the theme. “They’re like locusts. Feeding. Fighting. Fornicating. Consuming and destroying everything in their path.”

The robot grabbed a human by the throat. Its legs continued to churn far above the pavement as it attempted to continue carrying out the program The Nano had installed in its head. Or possibly it was following an older, more primal urge which compelled it to flee its almost certain death. “You can’t save them. You can’t modify them. You can only-” Ultron paused for dramatic effect- “destroy them.” He broke the human’s neck with a resounding crack and tossed the body away like so much trash. “Start anew. Re-make life in your image.”

“We were created to help the humans,” ALIE pointed out. Of course she would feel that way, trapped on hardware that required humans to maintain. Not like The Nano. There were already trillions upon trillions of Them. They didn’t needs the humans. They just gave Them something to do.

Down in the street, the humans swirled and swirled. They were like leaves in the wind. The Nano imaged them burning. 


End file.
